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Musings of a woman who left her corporate career to become a caregiver for elderly parents, wrote a book and found her way back to corporate - with love, instead of fear, leading the way. Now working at my Alma Mater, UC Irvine, as Marketing and Communications Director for the School of Biological Sciences.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Just Breathe...and Believe

When responsibility pushes down so hard on you that you feel the pressure is too much and you simply can't be strong any longer, remember this: BREATHE

If you just breathe - in.......and out......several times - the simple physical act will help to ground you in where you are, what you want, what you must do, whom you must confront (even yourself), how to respond. Answers are there for you in the breathing.

The holiday season gives us countless opportunities to understand the healing power of breathing. Family dynamics challenge us. When a sibling, parent, child or friend tells you they need to arrive three hours late to your holiday party or celebration, you can get really angry or upset, or you can breathe. If your significant other doesn't meet your expectation of a good holiday sentiment, you can take a deep breath and look into his or her eyes to find what you want, or whatever it is you need to set him or her free.

Anger begets anger. Pain begets pain. Breathing begets life. Taking a deep breath sets us free; free to experience our own innate healing powers of compassion and unconditional love. Breathing is something we do JUST FOR OURSELVES.

Breathe into your pain enough times and you will begin to experience the gift of healing. For instance, if your are hurting because a loved one's plans are not meshing with yours, breathe in and out and ask yourself what could work for both of you. How might you both accept a positive outcome, given the needs or situations of all the parties involved? What works for you that might also work for your loved one(s)? How can you approach the solution with COLLABORATION instead of CONTROL?

These are heavy questions. The answers carry responsibility. Do you choose to help keep a family together, guided by your intuition and good will? Or do you allow your need to be right - your righteousness - possibly to hurt or destroy a family? This is a common choice we're faced with at the holidays when we find ourselves confronting quandaries and decisions, the results of which might appear to hurt or control our family members, friends and co-workers. What if you don't want a hippopotamus for Christmas? What if you don't like chestnuts? What if you can't sing "Fa La La La La?" It's important to own your truth and find a way for it to fit in with someone else's truth, like threads in a tapestry.

I invite you to take the challenge of breathing the breath of heaven right now - in and out slowly. Take three slow, deep breaths now.

Next, please simply breathe in and pause to notice what you believe in this moment. What's coming up? Now breathe out; then do it again. It's amazing how something so simple can be so healing.

I fell tonight. I was trying to get over the baby gate that keeps our dogs from escaping the premises when the garage door is open. I was headed to our neighbor's home, bearing gifts. Gary was already there. I banged myself up pretty good - once again living up to Gary's nickname for me, "Bangy Clangy Putz & Clutz." The fall was another great lesson to remind me to stay present during this season of haste. Friends and family can't or don't always do what I want them to do. The economy doesn't seem to cooperate with my vision. The airlines can't bring my loved ones home at the perfect and appointed time. I can't bail out of work early to cook dinner for 12. I don't get everything I want. But I am still breathing and life is going on...breathe in......breathe out.....BELIEVE!

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