Mom Update

I have one more message to post this afternoon. Some well-intentioned family members and friends have contacted me recently to ask why they can't come get Mom to take her out to lunch or to their homes. They've inquired about having Saint Norma the Caregiver bring Mom to see them. Unfortunately, it's no longer easy for Mom to go anywhere. Things have changed dramatically since this photo was taken at the ranch four years ago. Mom has enormous physical limitations as a result of her hip replacement a few months ago. She is extremely frail - down from 170 to 130 pounds, with little or no muscle tone. She is primarily wheelchair bound and can only take a few steps with a walker. She needs help to get from the wheelchair to the toilet. The bathroom process is labor-intensive for anyone helping her. Sadly, there have been many recent "accidents" that are very embarrassing and cause her to lose her dignity, which is painful to see. She goes to and from the hospital and doctor's appointments in a specialized vehicle that can take her wheelchair, so one really can't pick her up in a car and go out to lunch any more.

That being said, she will be the first one to say, "I'd love to go out to lunch with you." Just yesterday, she asked me to take her out Christmas shopping. I always redirect the conversations to say something like, "I'd love to go out with you, too, so how about if I come over to your 'restaurant.' We can have some of that delicious soup that you love." And we go to her dining room. Or I say, "You know, it's so crowded in the stores now, why don't I be your personal shopper and bring you the gifts to review and we can wrap them together." It gives her a "way out" without the humiliation of saying, "ARE YOU NUTS?!! YOU CAN'T RIDE IN A CAR!" That would hurt.

I'm letting you know about this because today Mom's great joy is to have visitors at her assisted living community, Inn at the Park, in Irvine. There, she can be wheeled downstairs to the parlor, library, lobby or dining room and enjoy the company of family and friends. She is in familiar surroundings and doesn't get too confused. Her dignity and pride remain intact and she always looks pretty!!

Recently Jack and Mom went to the Newport Harbor Yacht Club for Thanksgiving dinner with my sister and her family. They did ok, but it was an enormous effort on Meg's family's part to get them in and out of the place as well as back and forth from their apartment. A single trip to the restroom was 30 minutes long. We believe that may have been their last visit to NHYC.

If you want to see Marianne this holiday season, please don't wait for her to call you. She can no longer dial a phone number because she gets confused and agitated. Please reach out and call her and Jack, but only between 9 and 11 AM, 2 and 4 PM or after 6:30 PM, because at other times they are downstairs in the dining room. They also live for Friday "Happy Hours" which are 2:30 to 4 PM. If you leave them a voice message, please do not expect them to call back. Jack is blind and can't see the phone to dial a number and Mom is too confused to call anyone back.

All that being said, Jack and Marianne are delighted to talk on the phone if you can reach them, and even happier to be wheeled downstairs for a visit if you can drive over to see them in Irvine. They (and I) would be profoundly grateful for your attention.