Midlife Schmidlife

My friend, Jane Haas, called me this morning to ask if I was in a midlife crisis because she had an opportunity for someone from WomanSage to be on a talk show in New York City. I let out a big guffaw and said, "What do you think? My dad's on hospice, my mom's in skilled nursing and may not get to come home, my husband is having an angiogram tomorrow and may need major surgery, my siblings aren't speaking to me, I have a new job after five years of caregiving for elderly parents, I take med's for depression and I've gained 40 pounds in the last three years!!" She laughed and said I'd be perfect for the show.

Unfortunately I had to pass up the opportunity to share my life with the masses because of Gary's surgery; but my conversation with Jane made me think about midlife. Midlife is defined as the period in somebody's life when that person is no longer considered young, usually between 40 and 60. In our youth-obsessed culture, no wonder the word "crisis" has come to be associated with midlife. What happens when you are no longer considered "young?" Do you throw yourself off a cliff because your boobs are sagging or your "worry lines" are now crevaces on your face? Do you focus on death and dying? Midlife schmidlife!!! Do whatever it takes to appreciate middle age and focus on LIVING life to its fullest. You may need to take a brief time out for some inner work the way author Joan Anderson did and chronicled in her books, A Year by the Sea and The Second Journey. You may seek a new spiritual direction to support you in this phase of your journey. You might reinvent yourself in order to make a difference in the lives of others. You could commit to learning something new every day, or at least every week.

The truth for me is that I don't care about being considered "old" now. I'm an attractive middle-aged woman who is dealing with tons of stress that I offset with boundless gratitude for the love of friends and family. My favorite new name is "Granny Shannie," thanks to my grandson. I relish work/life balance and the wisdom to enjoy it. I have found rewarding ways to give back to my community through service to my church and WomanSage. Yes, some days still suck, but I had those days when I was younger too.

C'mon, share your thoughts on this topic with me!