2007 Holiday Letter

December 2007

Dear Friends & Family,

Does anyone really want to hear that we’ve had a sucky year? That’s the question I’ve been pondering for the past couple of months knowing that many of you expect me to send the annual holiday letter, or at least post it on my blog. And of course the answer that inevitably appears in my mind is a resounding NO!

I’ll never forget the first typed, single-spaced one-page Christmas letter our family received way back in 1965. It was so bad that Mom created a themed holiday party around it. Party guests got a nametag stuck on their backs with the name of one of the people featured in the letter. I can’t remember the name of the man who sent it to us. His sad tale featured several deaths in the family, including his wife, plus a daughter who “went crazy and was institutionalized,” a son rejected from several colleges who wound up working at a gas station, his close friends losing everything in a bankruptcy and foreclosure, and a neighbor’s farm burning down, including the deaths of several chickens, two cows and a prize-winning pig. It was the bleakest letter I had ever read. The names of the suffering were included and I recall they were a bit strange, like “Buster Kleinert,” “Mildred Cross,” “Silas Budinski,” “Delbert and Olive Pitt” – you get the picture. Everyone at Mom’s party had to read the letter and guess which reality character they were for the evening. It was such a downer that it was hilarious.

Which brings me back to this year. It’s been so depressing that Gary and I take time to laugh as much as possible, usually right after I’ve completed my daily therapeutic crying jag. I feel like the Holly Hunter character in the film, Broadcast News, breaking out in uncontrollable sobs whenever I can’t face the stress. I’m basically an odd cross between Pollyanna, Orphan Annie, Tinker Bell and Erma Bombeck at heart, so I know it’s just a crappy year and things will improve. That being said, I admit to relying on “my three L’s” - Lexapro, Laurel & Hardy and Larry the Cable Guy - to keep me afloat till the winds change and the tides turn back around to shoe-shopping, joyful travels to exotic places, size 10 jeans, Wednesday mornings at the Edge, Pilates class, a new car and frivolous, wine-laden lunches with girlfriends. It’s hard for me to gripe about not having a massage or a facial for nine months when I have dear friends who are not complaining about being taken slowly and permanently away from everyone and everything they love by the villains cancer or Alzheimer’s, or who have lost a child or loved one.

So I choose to focus on a variety of non-pharmaceutical uppers. The best is Keegan, age 3, the grandson that I never thought I’d have because I never had any children of my own. He walks in the front door and the sun comes out even on the most dismal days. I want to burst into song whenever I see him – and often I do, mostly the theme song from Thomas the Train. There are my nieces, Lindsey and Hannah. Lindsey introduced me to Facebook.com and invited me to be her “friend” on the site, so now I get to share in the fun stuff she is doing in her third year at University of Washington. Hannah is always genuinely happy to see me when Gary and I visit the ranch or she visits the beach and recently won the starring role as the Virgin Mary in her school play. I won’t be able to see her in person, but we are looking forward to the video. There’s Vanna, my faithful “Princess Dimstar” dog, who gets so excited when I put on my shoes that she slides across the wood floor and crashes into the wall of my closet. It’s a daily routine that has turned into my personal, uproarious Groundhog Day. And there are two cats that comfort me by kneading my “muffin top” – that lovely roll just above the top of my jeans – when I sit on the couch. They also perch in front of my computer monitor while I try to work.

My friends bring me up. Kathy J and I laugh incessantly comparing stories about our mothers’ dementia antics. Terry C makes me smile often because when she calls, my cell phone barks like her two adorable little Maltese “fish-bait” (Gary’s term) dogs. She also suggests that I stop being a “mole” and come out of my office, away from the computer to join her for “Taco Tuesday.” Sandy Moore gives me inspirational food for thought and hearty doses of sisterhood that lift my spirits. Gaye Nelson, my fairy godmother (really) and “oldest” friend drops in once a month with astrological anecdotes and family stories that make me smile. Marianne T comes to sit on the patio or attend church with me when she’s in town. Sister Meg and I laugh about “Rome burning” while we have a party at the ranch or watch the horses at Del Mar. Marley the Labradoodle brings her “mom,” neighbor Linda B, over to shoot the breeze and sip wine with me on the front porch. Cousin Dru treats me to my favorite Japanese food. Daughter-in-Law Emilie and I went to see the Live with Regis & Kelly show in L.A. LuAnn, Victoria and Johnnie visited from Colorado for a girl’s weekend where the laughter was nonstop. Marian S, Debbie B, Sean G, Anne W and Larry M (Dru’s husband) give me work to do that brings in extra money to help pay for my parents’ assisted living. And another friend, who prefers total anonymity, carried on an amazing conversation with a bunch of us in and around a hot tub last summer on the subject of vaginal farts. She knows who she is, her secret is safe with me, and she must know that her story continues to make me smile almost every day. Now you can theme your own holiday party around this bunch!

And of course, there is my darling Gary – the most wonderful, empathic, strong, loving and caring partner a woman could ask for - except when the Denver Broncos lose, the music is too loud, he’s late getting to bed, he’s driving, shopping, sick, out of cigars, talking on the phone and I say something to him, the TV is too loud, I’m snoring, I want to watch a chick flick, the fish isn’t fried, he has to wear long pants and, God forbid, a tie, or I ask him to shave on the weekends. He is my bliss.

According to Gaye (www.astrologytogo.com), on December 17th, Jupiter is heading into Capricorn for a year, which is a good thing for me. I sense a shift happening already. The pony is coming into view beneath all the you-know-what. We have a new granddaughter scheduled to arrive in March. Gary still loves his job. I’m writing another book and enjoying posting on my blog every few days. We have marvelous friends. I guess it’s a wonderful life after all!

Love,

Shannon