2009 Ingram Holiday Letter

Greetings!

Only two more days till the end of this “learning year” – which is my second in a row. In case you don’t know, “learning” is another word for “yucky.” I’d say 2009 has been a learning year for a few other people too – Governor Mark Sanford and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Dave Letterman, Tiger and Elin Woods. Oh it hasn’t been all bad, especially when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, sex with someone outside of your primary relationship can lead to a serious learning year. Thankfully that hasn’t been my problem!

My learning lessons in 2009 have been more in-your-face financial and family stuff – leaving our beloved home in Costa Mesa for a rental in Mission Viejo last January, watching our savings erode because my parents ran out of money to pay for their senior care needs, losing my precious stepdad, watching Mom decline into the indignity and despair of old age and feeling powerless to help her, and finding myself in the fray of my brother’s bipolar outbursts, which is like being thrown up against a brick wall of hate. Yes, I’ve felt battered by these experiences; and no, they haven’t kept me down for long. I think of them as part of “living deeply.” People living deeply have no fear of death….Anais Nin.

Every wonderful, newsy letter I’ve received from dear friends this holiday season reminds me that I’ve had those wonderful, newsworthy years in the past and will indeed have them again. As I write this, I’m enjoying the irony of Tony Bennett singing, “Smile though your heart is aching...smile even though it’s breaking,” coming from AOL radio here at my desk. I smile a lot every day, which drives Gary crazy. He chipped a front tooth this year and hasn’t been to the dentist yet to get it fixed, so he just stopped smiling for a few months. The good news is he has grown a beard and with that he feels comfortable showing an occasional closed-mouth smile, especially when the grandchildren are with us.

Back to the wonderful, newsy stuff...I went to New England in the fall with my dear friend, Kathy J. We had a blast. And coming as it did in a painful learning year, this trip was like a sweet dream...Gary and I went to sea for the five-day WomanSage cruise and also enjoyed some fun visits to Pechanga Casino Resort and Spa in Temecula where I learned that penny slots are the only way to go. Maybe all the old people that go to casinos knew something I didn’t – that it’s fun to see those pennies mounting up. And then you leave...Our niece, Lindsey, graduated from University of Washington and we were there to celebrate with her...I reconnected with dear friends, Barbara and Susan, in Scottsdale earlier this month...We welcomed Oscar, our crazy Snowshoe cat, into the family in June. He instantly became the best friend of Bindi Sue, our Corgi-Australian Cattle Dog mix. They entertain us day and night with their antics, some of which I’ve chronicled in the blog, especially how they sleep together in the cat’s bed. At least theirs is not a relationship based on text messages.

“...Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through...” sounds like a plan at the end of this learning year, Tony! That will be my champagne toast on New Year’s Eve at the Garner Ranch with Gary and my sister and her family - Meg, Ted and Hannah - as we look forward to sunshine and smiles in 2010. Wishing you a very Happy New Year!