Building my Wings

My meltdown continued well into last night. When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw the red light blinking on my "crackberry" that was sitting on a box of tissues on the nightstand. I thought about turning over and burying my head in my pillow to pick up crying where I left off last night. "Enough dismay," said Pollyanna. "Look at your message and then get up and go to work."

I reached for the magical little computer cell phone and saw the message was from my friend and associate, Nancy C, in Texas, who knew nothing about my mood or travails. She had written:

"You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." --Ray Bradbury. Do you see problems or possibilities? Reframe your thinking! See difficulties not as problems, but as possibilities. Consider the lesson you'll find in meeting each new challenge!!

I read it about six times, then sent Nancy a note of gratitude. Today I would vow to see the possiblities in the problems swirling around me. Possibilities are a valid framework for problems, right? I thought about the unbelievably awful treatment I have received from the bank that holds the first trust deed on our home. I thought about the pain of losing so much of our own money and all of Mom's money to pay for assisted living and other costs related to eldercare for both my mom and stepdad. I thought about my company's unique operating philosophy, "Love is greater than fear." The challenge for me would be to place all the pain, anger and difficulty confronting me now in a container that lets in light and love - a brilliant framework of possibility!

I've held that vision of a framework with light pouring into it all day today. It's been a good day in spite of the ongoing struggle with the wretched bank. I must admit that one of the happiest thoughts I have had - a possibility thought, albeit vengeful - is how good it might feel to bring a huge, successful lawsuit against the bank. The best punishment would be to force them to connect all callers to a human being instead of throwing us into the hell of voicemail abyss. That would undoubtedly be a great way for them to spend the billions of dollars they're getting in government bail-outs this year.

Thank you again, Nancy. You brought me out of the darkness. I can feel my wings getting stronger already.