Jack's Gastro Diagnosis

Jack has been having some gastro-intestinal problems the past few weeks, which were making him very nervous. I took him to his gastro doc this afternoon. His appointment was at 3 PM, which was convenient for me because Mom's blood test was at 2:30 and their doctor's offices are close to each other. We arrived on time and Mom chose to sit in the car and listen to the news on the radio. I helped Jack find a seat in the waiting area, but unfortunately, the receptionist informed me that she didn't have Jack's name on the schedule. After some private conversations behind the desk with other women in bright-colored medical uniforms, she said they would fit Jack in, but we'd have to wait over an hour. Jack decided that would be OK, so I trekked out to the car and told Mom she might want to come inside. She agreed.

After 90 minutes, Jack and I made it to an exam room. The doc came in and told Jack he could take an Immodium every day, along with his other med's. I said, "What about his diet?" And the doc said, "OK, what about it?" "Can he eat Mexican food?" I asked, because Jack wanted Gary and me to take him and Mom to Mi Casa for their anniversary dinner tonight. "Not a good idea," said the doc. He turned to leave the room and Jack said, "What about prunes?" The doc's neck practically snapped as he turned around. "You're kidding, right?" "Welllllll, no, I have three or six prunes every morning for breakfast because they're supposed to be good for old farts like me." I was stunned. The doc sat back down and put his hand on Jack's knee, looked him in the eye and said, "Jack, prunes are a serious laxative. If I ate three prunes every morning, I'd have diahhrea, and I've never had an ulcerated colon. The prunes are the problem. Don't eat prunes and don't take Immodium for now. Let's wait a week or so and see if your problem subsides when you stop the prunes." And then he shot me a look that must have translated as "DUH" and we both chuckled as he left the room. Jack exited into the waiting area and told anyone who would listen, including Mom, that his diagnosis was apparently all about prunes. He was happy to admit he had cheated death again. We celebrated with cheeseburgers instead of refried beans.